"I'm only human". such a deep thought to me today. What it means to be a human mammal. We all know the basic drives and needs that comes along with this DNA. The drives & ambitions, the lusts and the pride. And as hard as we try to be like Christ, we often fail miserably.
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We think we know what we should be, but in my human attempts at fitting "it" with "me" usually ends up not "Christ-like" but "Self-righteous" instead. How frustrating that all my best efforts for being what I understand I ought to be, ends up bringing forth something marred and not the intended beauty! What am I missing in my ingredients that makes my end result marred?!
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I try to bring forth genuine agape love, but I find my love has strings attached and limitations that don't match the love I was going for at all. I try to be humble, but I find my own humility is very limited and holds resentment I never intended!
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"I'm just a woman". We women are not even stable in our own minds. Most women I know are moody and full of drama if not outwardly, at least inwardly. The best women at least aspire to having God's love for all. But even some of the sweetest, most Christian ladies I know have the spirit of despise written on their brow at times, and thereby often hurt and offend others deeply.
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One of the most incredulous scriptures in the new testament was written by the great Apostle Paul, who we all seem to think was "always right". Yet he wrote "The good that I would do I do not, but that which I would not, that I do. O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from this sin body of death?"
The bible speaks of a love and a type of humility that seems unattainable. The verse comes to my mind "show me the stairway I have to climb". As I try and fail, and stumble and make a big mess of everything in all my attempts and efforts to be pleasing to God, I know that "He knows the way that I take".
"Lord for my sake, teach me to take one day at a time".
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