I hate change. I just want to function effectively, not learn something new every time I'm trying to do something. I go to the store to get bread, and they move the bread isle. I hate that. I don't want to walk all over the store trying to find it, I just want to pick up a loaf, not tour the newly decorated isles! I finally learn how to post on Facebook, or how to get from one thing to another in my computer and they come out with windows 8! Ugh! Now I have to start all over and learn something again! I hate that. In my mind I scream "Stop giving me upgrades and updates! I like things the way they were!"
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It's the same way in church. I get used to things "being" a certain way. I played piano for many years when the church decided to buy a new one. They bought an expensive Kurzweil digital piano. It had more buttons and gadgets on it than I knew how to use! It was a cross between a piano and a really wild keyboard! I HATED it! I just wanted a piano, a beautiful simple piano. I didn't want to learn a new instrument! I rebelled. I refused to play any of the extra gadgets or buttons. I parked it on "grand piano" and left it there, and got irritated whenever anyone moved the functions! And I complained about how much money we spent on all those gadgets that I never use!
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Then one day I discovered the transpose key! Wow! What a feature! If someone started a song in some crazy odd key, I no longer had to struggle to figure out what Dm for F is in B! I could just push the transpose button and voila!
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I get used to the music being a certain way, and low and behold people come along changing it, constantly giving us "upgrades" and add-ons! Automatically my spirit rejects it! I don't want to go anywhere I haven't been already! I've learned how to find God here in this little closet and I don't want to go "forward and backwards and on the right hand where he works..." I just want to go get him where I remember he has always been for me!
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Yesterday Sis. Joyce P. and I were discussing this, and she said she loves change because it keeps her on her toes. Yes it does. That's why I don't like it! It doesn't allow me to sit back at ease.
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As I have come to recognize that I don't like change, my spirit has gotten better because I now realize where my fear and resistance comes from. I'm afraid that if you move my cheese, I won't be able to find it again or in the same way that I did before. (Yes, I've read "Who Moved My Cheese" and I recommend this book to everyone!).
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I finally gave in to the extreme issues of my laptop and bought a new one, with windows 8 on it. At first it was so frustrating, I almost took it back to the store! But now I'm beginning to learn the features. Now I LOVE it! But I had to sit through some tutorials!
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This just dawned on me today: When things begin to change at the church and I get worried or anxious or feel that I no longer know how to operate, or what is expected of me, I just have to sit through some tutorials! This may include counsel or learning from others, or practicing, but then what I hate may actually become something I am very pleased with after all!
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