Debbie in Wonderland- written July 12, 2010

The Lord quickened me to watch the movie Alice in Wonderland and He talked to me about it, and applied it to my spiritual walk.

To recap a little first, Alice fell down a rabbit hole, and had an experience in her dream (in her mind). The characters in Wonderland doubted whether she was the "right" Alice or not and she said "it's my dream, how can I not be the right Alice?"

She was always the wrong size!  First she was too big, so she had to shrink down. Then she was too little and she had to be stretched.  Once again,  she became too big and she had to shrink yet again and then she got stuffed into a tea pot!

Everyone was pushing her and shoving her along, and she wasn't even sure where she was going or why and everyone told her that she was there to fight a big serpent dragon thing, that she didn't want to fight. But they kept telling her she was the only one who could defeat it.  

When the mad hatter, that she had befriended, got kidnapped by the evil queen, she wanted to go and rescue him, but one of the characters said "that's not your path. If you veer from the path, you will not reach your destiny!" Alice replied said "Wait a minute! Ever since I fell down that rabbit hole, I've been shrunk and then stretched, and then stuffed and accused of NOT being "Alice" and accused of "being" Alice, and told what I have to do but this is "my" dream. I make the path!"

So she goes and when the "good" queen in exile finds out that she's "veered" from the path to go rescue the mad hatter, she says  "that's where she needs to get the sword".  And it's revealed that the "sword" is the only missing element in the armor that awaits her, for her battle with the dragon.  And it's told that she has to have a specific sword and not just any sword and she also has to wear a specific armor in order to defeat the serpent dragon.

And when she sees the dragon, it is said "this is IMPOSSIBLE". And she says "my father said he sometimes thinks of 6 impossible things before breakfast". And as she is approaching the dragon, she starts counting 6 impossible things which she has already done including finding herself in a place such as Wonderland by falling down a rabbit hole!  So she builds up her faith by remembering her journey and the 6th impossible thing she counts is to defeat the dragon!  So she fights, and the dragon throws her up in the air and as she is coming down, she holds out the sword and says "OFF with your head!" and she slays him.

The kingdom of God is not a literal, natural, geographical location that it takes time to travel to. The kingdom of God is a state of mind.

If God is my King, then I am part of his Kingdom and thus I am in the Kingdom of God.   If God is my Ruler and King, then I can benefit from the benefits of his government!  This is a state of mind.

It's my mind.  It is my choices that direct my path. I make my own path by the choices I make. By the mindset I have,  I can succeed or I can fail. I can be strong or I can be weak. I can declare that God is my king & I am in his kingdom, or I can make excuses why I'm not.

The battlefield is all in my mind. The City of refuge, the "secret place", is a mindset where God's love and peace and a heart wholly given to him is.   I can be there in an instant with a decision in my mind.   

But it's my mind and my decision. Is God my King? YES HE IS!!! And if there is an enemy in the kingdom that has to be slayed, then it's my destiny to be able to slay this enemy, no matter how big and bad he looks!  If I put on the armor that's given me, and take the special sword, it will all work out, because it is my destiny.   God has brought me here to do this very thing, and given me the tools to do it. 

Look at what I've already come through!  Count the impossible things I've already accomplished!  King David had to remember the lion and the bear that he defeated in the name of the Lord, to give him the faith to face Goliath. 

I have gone through a lot of changes.  I've been humbled, and I've been stretched back out, just to be humbled again!  I've been boxed in and covered up.  I've been pushed and shoved and told what I ought to do.  I've been told I was brought to the Body to be the Bride, and accused that I wasn't the Bride!  But this is my life!  And I'm right on schedule in it.  How can I possibly not be?

Debbie Hoffman Benfield
 

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Charity vs Pride- Feb.13, 2011

 

 The Lord prompted me to read 1 Cor. 13.  I was looking at the various characteristics of charity and asking myself if I'm operating in charity in my various relationships.  And I got something I thought was worth sharing.

Charity envieth not and vaunteth not itself.  Charity doesn't seek to be recognized and special.  It's willing to blend into the background.  Pride, on the other hand, wants to be recognized for everything it does that's good, wise, or righteous.  Much like the Pharisees and Sadducees, pride wants to display it's qualities.  Charity doesn't let the left hand know what the right hand is doing, but does it unto the Father.

Charity is not puffed up.  Have you ever seen someone full of themselves?  Knowledge puffs up, because in the flesh we can't do anything but get puffed up for our good deeds and how wise we think we are.  That's why righteousness can't come by the law, because we don't get more righteous.  We just get more "self" righteous.

Charity does not behave unseemly.  Charity is not trying to draw attention to itself.  Charity is willing to be invisible.  I was taught in the Body of Christ that God's ministry will be invisible.  They won't seek to promote their own face, personality, or their own fame.  They will instead do whatever they do to the glory of God and Christ.  To allow yourself to become invisible is fearful to the flesh and pride will not do it!

Charity seeketh not her own.  Do I seek my own way,  my own glory, my own pleasure, or my own honor?  Charity will take a back seat.  Pride sure will not.  Pride wants to be recognized for it's accomplishments.  If Pride has done well, it sure wants everyone to know it and certainly doesn't want anyone else to get the credit!

Charity is not easily provoked.  Can I be stepped on without hollering?   Do I get upset easily?  Do I allow something someone said to upset my applecart?  When I've put on charity, I won't let everything ruffle my feathers.

Charity thinketh no evil.  What do I really think of others?  To think that someone is against me, that they personally do not like me or that they are my adversary is thinking evil of them.  I need God's help to love enough that I blind myself to other's faults.  I'm reminded of the fact that most mothers only see the good in their children, while others may see a spoiled brat! Lord, give me this kind of love for all people.  Like that video I recently posted, where the man puts on those glasses and suddenly he sees people's needs.

Charity rejoiceth not in iniquity.  Charity doesn't rejoice or delight when there is division or bitterness or hurt.  Charity doesn't say "It's about time they got their due!".  Charity isn't blood thirsty to see people get what they "got coming".

But Charity rejoices in truth.  When God wins, when people's spirits are cleansed, when love manifests and when righteousness is upheld, this is what delights Charity.

Charity bears all things.  Paul told Timothy to endure hardness as a good soldier.  Can I bear anything?  Can I take a licking and keep on ticking?  Do I have to cry and get petted every time someone bumps into me?  Do I lose my peace when someone else takes the credit that I felt was due to me? Can I bear it, without drawing attention to it and letting everyone know how wrong it all was?

Charity will work hard behind the scenes without recognition and without payback.  Charity will learn and study to be quiet.  Charity won't draw attention to itself or show off .  Charity won't always seek to be the one in charge, the teacher.  Charity can take a back seat.  And charity won't demand respect and honor from others.

Pride seeks it's own.  If pride is in a campaign, itself is the only one running.

Pride wants to be recognized publicly for everything good that it does.  The Pharisees wanted everyone to know when they were praying and fasting and how they gave alms.  They prayed long, eloquent sounding prayers to impress those that heard them.  But Jesus said "Enter into your closet and do it in secret". 

 Pride wants to be counted. Pride wants to be seated with the great. Let those that would be great among you, be the least. Whoever wants to be great with God, sit down in yourself.  Esteem everyone else better than yourself!  Let everyone else go before you.  Don't seek to sit with the great.  Don't seek the highest seats in the temple.  Don't try to be over everything.  Don't try to be seen.  Charity will allow itself to be invisible,  that Christ may be the focus and not flesh.

The element in us that wants to be recognized and honored and respected and boss is pride, not charity. 

Love Arresting! - Feb. 17, 2011

Received in prayer:  As I was praying & meditating about how great God's love is- how deep, how high, how long, how wide!  and how my love for others ought to be the same, this is what I received.

The Love that God wants me to show is not MY love, even at it's best....it's not the love that I have or ever can manifest on my own, it's not the love that I feel in my affections or that I can show...it's not the love that is typical of my nature or personality.  The Love that God wants me to have is love that is not from or of me.  It is a new kind, a new brand of love that only comes from Him, and is of heavenly treasure.

He wants me to take on the armor of his love- it is mighty.  A mighty weapon of war.  It is a shield for me-protection!

It is a great advocate.  An unfailing defense.  It is victory over defeat and strength to march through difficult situations.

The love He will endow me with surmounts all opposition and defeats every foe.  It runs like an Elk and it's strong as an Ox; swift as a lion.

Like a pelican it fishes.  Like a fish it runs deep.  As water, it trickles and flows over every rock and around every confrontation, delving into every hidden crevice and stream, lower as it goes, and lower still.  Happily seeking the lowest position - joining with the ancients who've gone on before, this journey.

The Love He shall supply me is vast like the universe and ceaseless, timeless and enduring.

The brand of love He will show me is not perceived by natural eyes and is not comprehended by human affection.  It transcends eternity and explodes from the realm of human interests.

It is love beyond comprehension.  It shines of itself.  It feeds of itself.  It endures of itself.  It multiplies & exudes & overflows & is boundless, endless, and eternal.

This Love He shall give me is not humanly possible nor plausible.  It is not something I can feel or do on my own.

My greatest efforts to love; the greatest love available in my natural heart, is nothing to compare.

My best & highest attempts to show or feel love are just a symbol, an invitation to the Lord that I am open to receive that greater gift of which I have yet to be given.

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After writing down as I was receiving, I began to look up what the Lord meant by "as a pelican fishes", since I barely know what a pelican is!

Here's what I found:  "The brown pelican is the only one that plunges from the air into the water to catch its food".  Immediately I was quickened that God sent his Son from heaven, plunging down from glory, to earth to catch fishes of men.  As a pelican fishes....willing to plunge down from glory in order to reach us.

What love! What wonderful love!

Debbie Hoffman Benfield

Change 101 - written March 15, 2011

I guess it's a fad to say "be real" or "keep it real, man".

 But what does the bible say about that? 

My adamic, base nature would retaliate if you offend me, but the bible says to "put off" malice and "put on" charity. 

Yes, I'm a Put-On.  I'm a phony.  I choose to obey God's word, and ignore my natural tendencies of jealousy, malice, and envy. 

But the beauty of this is that when I obey God's word and choose him over self's responses, He replaces my stony heart and begins to transform it into the heart of love that He wants me to have.

We are to "put on" charity until that which is perfect is come.


Debbie Hoffman Benfield

The Teeters and the Totters - June 8, 2011

When we're young, we started out in the middle, most likely with mom and dad standing there holding us. We just had to learn to sit on the teeter totter without falling off as the world moved around us.  We didn't really experience highs and lows of our own.
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But as we grew, we got further and further down the teeter totter.  We were able to take ...lower lows and thus experience higher highs.  If you're experiencing an unusually low low, don't get discouraged.  Perhaps you just moved back on the teeter totter, and now you can prepare for higher highs as well. 

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The lesson of the teeter totter is that you don't get to excited when you're  sitting high, because you're getting ready to go low.  And neither do you get discouraged when you are low, because you are about to go high.  The teeter totter is a continuation of high and low phases, one after the other.
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It's not about what phase you're in, it's about the process of going through them all.  If you kick and scream in your low phases or try to prevent going low in your high phases or if you jerk and squirm or jump off the teeter totter, you are not successfully learning the joy of the teeter totter.  Take all your phases with grace, and a knowing that "this too shall pass".  Enjoy the process.
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When someone else is low, don't get puffed up and look down the nose at them.  You'll be looking UP at them shortly, when it's your turn to go down.  And when someone else is looking down at you, don't worry, they will have their day and soon will be looking up at you.
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Whether you're on the mountain, or in the valley, it's temporary.  :)

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Love to you all.
Deb Hoffman Benfield

Ongoing Construction - 2012

One of the abilities that God helps us realize as human being is that we have the ability to re-invent ourselves.  So we don't have to stay where we find ourselves.  We can re-invent ourselves, turn over a new leaf, and become a different sort of person.

Sometimes the greatest obstacle to becoming re-invented is the people who knew us before.  They tend to put us back in the same old rut of expectations and be stubborn about removing old labels even if they no longer fit.  This is error on their part, but it also brings to light another important key in re-invention.

We must also learn to SPEAK our change into existence.  So that we verbally tell others "I was that, but I am not that anymore.  Jesus is changing me".  Even when we fall down, and others say "See, I knew you were the same".  We must re-iterate again and again to them and to ourselves "No, I may not be altogether yet what I am going to be, but I am not what I was before!  I am still under construction, so please excuse my mess while I am being re-invented".  Paul put it like this "I count not myself to have apprehended that for which I am apprehended, but one thing I do, forgetting those things that are behind, I press towards the mark".

Too often I am personally silent about the changes that are taking place inwardly.  I prefer for others to notice and then I feel offended or disappointed when they don't.  I have also for years thought others ought to read my mind or somehow know my motive and to answer Dr. Phil's question "that has not worked well for me at all".   I refuse any longer to let others keep dead labels on me.  Stop saying that about me.  That dress stopped fitting a long time ago!  Get over it already.

God causes us to realize that we don't have to stay where we find ourselves and we certainly do not have to live where people keep sending our mail.

Debbie Hoffman Benfield

The shoes of a virtuous woman- October 31, 2011

 

As I've been meditating and studying on the attributes of a virtuous woman, I kept thinking "these are big shoes to fill".  But I felt like I received from the Lord  "oh Contrar'!  These shoes are not big at all.   Instead they are very tight!
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If you assay to wear these shoes, you must get small.  You can't bring your big feet to these shoes.  Big, clumsy feet cannot fit and would not be able to endure the blisters and pain that these shoes would impose.  You must bind up your big footedness and become very small to even fit in these shoes.
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Yet in these shoes, the wearer must walk great distances, carry heavy burdens and tip toe around everything!   These shoes are not like those shoes that are for looks, and dainty affairs.  The wearer of these shoes will labor and be in constant service.

Yet, unlike typical work shoes, these shoes are not ergonomically designed with the wearers feet in mind.  They were, instead, designed for others.  These shoes were designed especially with OTHER people’s comfort in mind.  These shoes were made to tip toe, so as not to step on other's feet,  while the wearer labors in them.  These shoes give the wearer the ability to step lightly, and step around, so as not to even touch other’s sensitive feet. With these shoes, the laborer can go in and out and around others without incident.  The wearer learns how to go in and out among God’s people without hearing cries of the tender footed crying “ouch”, “Ouch! you hurt me!”, or “Get your big feet out of the way!”

These shoes are not blue suede shoes either!  Remember the Elvis song “Don’t you step on my blue suede shoes”?  Well, these shoes were not built to prevent other’s from stepping all over them.  There are no walls, no towers, no fortified areas, no steel toes.  Although they are designed not to step on others, these shoes are themselves often stepped upon.  These shoes, being made not for the wearer but for others, were made soft-hearted, so that when others step on them, they don’t “bite back”.  These shoes are cushions that absorb the impact of other’s weight and act as a sort of buffer or shock absorber for other’s big feet and careless steps. 
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INTERPRETATION:  (for any who would like clarification of the allegories I'm using here)
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Tight Shoes= strait is the gate and narrow is the way.
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To get small:  Humble. Meek.  Not full of yourself.
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Big Feet:  Full of self-interest & one’s own opinion. Unable to get out of yourself, not putting other’s interests & honor above your own claims to it.
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Big, Clumsy Feet:  Always putting your foot in your mouth; strife.  Like a heavy footed person always stepping on other people's feet, whether intentional or unintentional.
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Blisters and Pain: Constantly bickering, offended & being offended, constantly getting in trouble for what you said or did, & the pain and blistering of one's pride.
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Bind up your big footedness= Learn to shut your mouth.
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Walk great distances: Endurance....keep on going, and don't stop, don't give up, don't drop the ball.
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Carry heavy burdens: Hearing mess but not spreading it; taking offense but not retaliating. Bearing your crosses...loving, forgiving.
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Tip Toe around everything:  Being careful with your mouth- learning wisdom when to speak & when not to, learning what you have the range to say and what you don’t, etc.
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Going in and around others without incident: This person won't be called into the pastor's office trying to sort through issues all the time, or constantly involved in some sort of mess or strife going on, because they have learned how to tip toe in and around people. They know ‘how to go in and out among God’s people”.
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Cries of the tender footed- when other’s say “you shouldn’t have talked to me like that!” “you hurt my feelings!” “You had no right to talk to me like that!” “that was rude” “that was uncalled for!” .

Debbie Hoffman Benfield